In Memory --> "Ah Meh Meh"

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Another time I cried..

People might take a preson who cry as a weakling, but I feel that the person who cries is much stronger then those that never shet a tear...

Indeed I cried a lot through life... because it is the feeling of sad and happiness that give me the tears...

Today, there's a play in MMU for the Chinese New Year Extravaganza and it is touching... very touching... every kind of feelings are blend into a single play that touched me deeply...

The story started with 2 families that dislike each other because they are differently educated and they are both different type of doctor...one is Chinese Doctor and another is Western Doctor (Sorry for not been able to use the correct word to describe it)... and so their children are friends but not for the parents... which both side's always quarrel over any things...
A lot of things then happened which the Chinese Doctor's daughter is a "homo" and both thier son like to study different things... sadly that both father wanted thier son to study on thier same path which then caused the Chinese Doctor's son die of sadness... A lot of part touched me thought I did not put much of my heart inside... it is all thanks to the acting skills those actors have with them...

It is a nice show... you can contact me if you wish to have a copy of the show... thought it might not be able to view clearly... and it's Mandarine...

miss_asia_2000@yahoo.com



I cried because I have feelings... I have feelings because I have love... Having feelings give me more power and strength to be a better person... becaue I am me...

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 1:27:00 am

Friday, January 14, 2005

Liar? Cheater? IT'S A TOTAL ABSURD!!!

At last... I saw what I heard... She already have a boy friend...

She had been in mind since I came to this mysterious land 3 years back... She was the 1st I see and the most I want to get... I tried so many times... but never once am I accepted... Cute was her name... I was attracted to her cuteness and good nature... not to tell that those were her special things that attract mens to like her naturally...

I had been given absurd reason for not receiving me... Cute says that she wanted to concerntrate in studies and never wanted to get in love while she is still in this land... Of course only idiots will accept such reasons as logic... and I'm one of them... after trying times... I still fails on the same absurd reason... But it doesn't metters... because I still have chance as long as she's not taken...

As time pass... I distanced myself from her... fearing that getting too close with her will make me gone all crazy for her all over again... but still.... Cute cannot get away from my head... Until that time when I found TT that give me acceptance... TT is from another land which is not known to me... and the cultural is a fact that makes it a problem... TT never really get me... She just accept me...

Cute later have gotten another man's heart... but no one knows what happened in between them... as I have pull away my sight from Cute... They never seemed to be together... And the days seemed to went by and Cute went on with an activity... after that, and now... she is already own... from someone within the activity ring...

This is a total absurd... what is with her is she is lying... she should not have use such absurd reason while wish to push away someone for good... as such reason lead to waiting and wasting of poeple's time... I'm declaring Cute A LIAR! A CHEATER! A BETRAYER! and will never wish to look at her any more...

I do not feel that I see the wrong person today as there is only one kind of each person in this land and I can recognize each and every face easily... and with her size, it will be more easier to recognize from far... He touched her by the lower hip while she then lie down on his on a queue...

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 5:26:00 pm

I love you... I truely do... (140105)

I love you... Can you love me? Why am I dare not letting you know what is deep within me???

It started when I have feeling towards someone... I feel that I will be rejected and I dare not let her know... On the same time, I feel that I am not suitable with her... I wanted to love someone deep enough to even sacrifice my things to her... but sadly never is there anyone appreciate me for being who I am... as so, I had chased girls away from life others then those that know who I am... I'm afraid of having it again... again... again...



I'm UGLY!!! She will never love me... (falling on my knees... crying sadly...)

I know myself best... I have dark secrets... I have things that can ruin the future path of many human... That's why I'm ugly... not only from my face features and build up plus my body build up that is weird as my bones are weirdly build... Girls does not simply accept people with many weakness and is problem by so many things... They are not and never will be prepared to love someone they never know that is so ugly... so ugly... so ugly...



I LOVE YOU!!! But what can I do?!?!?! All that is left for me is just looking at you from here... Wishing you happiness from the dept of my heart... coz I still LOVE you...

I was looking at her... she was far upon reaching... too far... too far... as she was with others... others that is interested in her and wish to have her... They are far better then me... as they know her better and she's to them... I can only watch from afar... seeing her happy face smiling while being with them... She is happy without me... but with them... wth them... with them...

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 12:00:00 pm

Monday, January 03, 2005

"DOOMS DAY"

T1605

Something sad happened today. My computer had just died on me. I do not know why or how, but the fact is the fact. It is already dead. So what more is left for me when it is already dead? Isn't it much better to just die with it since life can no longer be moving on without it? How can a human so addicted and adapted in it live on when he does not have it?

I have decided...

I start to announce to people today that my computer is dead and the solution road is only one. No more other choices for me. It is either I have a new computer or I just quit this trimester and work my money out. I will try to convince my parents for money, else I am lending it from my uncle. If either way is not reached, the final resolution is to quit this trimester and get a job that can earn me a living.

My decision are chosen not because I like to work so much. But the truth is I cannot live on this trimester without it. There are so many projects that require it. How can I supposed to go on without it? All my notes and works are needed with it. How can I borrow others' computer while they need it too? Maybe borrowing a day or two won't cost much, but how about a continuation of a week or two? That would be enough for them to hate me for bothering them.

How about going to lab? Don't you think I want? Always there will be classes and the labs are only open till 6pm. My classes are till 7pm. If I stay all day in MMU just to move around labs, what do I use to save my files? I'll need to buy a lousy thumb drive. And life will be even tired then usual. I won't be having any distraction from being stressed out... I won't be able to get my drinks while working...

I am so tired of life that went all wrong all of a sudden for days and I feel like I just want to really get away from life and go some where else that have not a single human being. Splendid Isolation...

DOOMS DAY ARE HERE!!!

Looking at the days to come without a computer of mine... Is it worth living for? Isn't it more worth to just die for?

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (1) @@ 4:30:00 pm