A Series of Influential People in Life -- Vanessa...

I do not clearly know what is deep within the brain of mine... I'm still searching and finding for the correct answer... What's with me that keeps on wanting to meet with someone especially Vanessa??? I've wanted to meet with Sam... but that is not as desperate as Vanessa... I wanted to even meet with Norma... But there's a barrier and distance between us...

It had been a few years I know Vanessa... Clearly recall our friendly conversation starts 4 or more years ago when she's still a secondary student... only to know basic of the world, I taught her about my thoughts and the world I see which gradually we managed to chat with ease and peace...

But soon after time passed and she enters collage, which is just a few months ago... which actually she turn rebellious against my thought and start fighting for her freedom of thoughts and rejecting my rationality and find her ground even before she enters collage... but after she ends her SPM...

She rejected my thoughts and eventually turn our chats into serious discussions and arguments that ended up having either one of us not wishing to chat with the other one for the rest of the time until the next meeting...

Eventually, I was deeply attracted to the part where she bravely fought me away and not just easily accepting me... While some of the rest just accept what I have and never fought powerfully enough to makes me feel that I'm not alone... Only a few of those bravely makes me feel that I'm not alone are those that I gradually wished to be around with... which include Vanessa... Though I had lost some of the others in life with them leaving me and making my world yet lonely again...

Is this my lust for love and like? Is this all I ever want for a life that is great to live? I'm still in a lost... I'm still searching... deeply for the one true self of mine... searching... searching... all alone...

ŦĦØΜД§ && Mï$$ў

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